Getting Unstuck and Grabbing Hold of Your Life
“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You don’t blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the Government. You realize that you control your own destiny.” – Albert Ellis
Let’s just admit that as long as we blame anything or anyone we are stuck. Blame is an unhealthy behaviour that exhibits no mercy, grace or love. Being stuck in blame keeps us stuck in life.
However much fun it is to gossip and judge others it is never a good idea to blame others for our situations because to do so is surrendering our power. Sure sometimes it seems like a good idea to tell everyone how badly life has treated us and yet if we are truly open we are aware that others may have it worse. We only have to read the newspaper or turn on the nightly news to see that no matter what we are dealing with there are always others suffering more.
Being Stuck is Wasting Precious Life time
Perhaps you can relate to my experience of feeling trapped I feel I have wasted so much of my own life. (Hoping partners would stop drinking, waiting for others to change, passively waiting for a miracle etc.,) My life is passing at an accelerated rate of speed and I refuse to keep living my life with this sticky black goo of stickiness attached to me. To move forward, I had to take an honest look at what was holding me back. The answer was simply stinking thinking. Believing I was powerless to make a difference. Born under an unlucky star, too young, too old, too fat, too thin, too short, too tall etc.,
Your Loving Wake Up Call
Sometimes it is easy to give in to the temptation to vent, blame ourselves and others. Sadly the truth is that when we focus on anything or anyone other than our own goals we are immobilized. Being distracted by situations gone by that cannot be changed is a waste of our time. Because you are reading this article I know that you are aware that some ridiculous situation that occurred sometime in your past has caused you to be stuck at some point on your life journey. Welcome to your loving wake up call, which comes courtesy of my own rude awakening, which on the upside caused the realization that I am the one with the power to make positive changes in my life. The only one who can; and you are the only one who can make positive changes in your own life.
Take Back Your Power
Baggage from the past is too heavy to carry – drop it, it does not serve you – so love yourself enough to let it go. You know it’s pretty silly to try to walk forwards while looking backwards while holding on to baggage from the past. What is your old baggage? A love that got away? A jealous co-worker? An ungrateful family member? An abusive parent? A rebellious step-child? Financial troubles? Illness? A betrayal by a ‘friend’? All of the above? It is not my intention for you to go back in time and re-live negative and unhappy situations because that will not help you in the present. We all have experiences that we regret but re-living them causes unnecessary stress and emotional pain. Observing a bad experience with the perspective of time and distance we can see the wisdom that we gained from the situation. For example in the past I would share negative experiences of situations that happened in my past with others hoping they would benefit from hearing my stories, instead I discovered that sharing an unhappy anecdote simply caused others to re-live their own unhappy similarly themed experiences. People need hope, encouragement and good news. We all need to be encouraged and lifted up with hopeful stories.
Whatever We Hold – Holds Us
Whatever we hold is actually holding us, keeping us from the freedom to make better choices. That old baggage smells bad, we want to and need to let it go. It is time to drop it off at the recycling depot and buy some new fresh smelling luggage which we can carry forward to the next amazing part of our journey. Don’t you just love the smell of new luggage? Me too. Holding on to anger and unforgiveness does not help us as we move forward. Focusing on what is behind will only cause us to walk into walls because our vision is not focused in the direction it is supposed to be. What we focus on grows larger. So if we are stuck on negative experiences from our pasts we are growing in negativity and the “poor me’ cycle which has only one stationary wheel.
Pity Party – Table for One !
If God created us to “Have life and have it more abundantly”, (Jesus), to continue to live or re-live dead experiences is to call God’s honesty into question. For life to grow in us we must make better choices with the limited amount of time alloted to us on planet earth. Maybe you are like me in that you had a phase in your life where you vented about all the wrongs of life done to you by so and so, over such and such, and how unfair it all was. Because you too, just like me consider yourself to be a good person who did not deserve to have to deal with betrayal, denial, false accusations etc., But also like me you have come to the realization that life is a great equalizer in that it is unfair to every human being in some way or other By now your probably also realize that repeating over and over to anyone who would listen the stories of how the world has done us wrong, only makes others pull away. Pity parties usually end up with only one person in attendance. (Pity Party – Table for 1!)
All Behaviours Can Be Changed – Tony Robbins
Healthy thinking is not something we can utilize when all is not right in our universe although it is something we must do for the sake of our sanity.The decision to wash off and metaphorically power hose our brains must be taken. Unhealthy thoughts, memories, habits and behaviours have been pulling us down into the blackness of despair while also robbing us of the joy of new accomplishments. As Tony Robbins tells us, “All behaviours can be changed.” He has certainly proven the truth of that statement over many years of life coaching millions of people all over the world. Not only can we change our behaviours there are millions of witnesses to testify to the truth of it by their own choices to become empowered.
Feeding Our Sponge Brains
Moving forward begins by making the choice to let go of our brains desire to be lazy by re-showing re-runs of past hurts and injustices over and over again. We are in control of our thoughts and our actions. Our brains are sponges, we have to feed them new information and positive messages. It is like feeding a baby it will be messy and not all the food will be eaten but mouthful by mouthful we can make the change to feed our sponge brains new healthy powerful messages. It will take conscious effort at the start, but with deliberate and repeated focus we can re-train our brains to work on our behalf to help us indeed experience the true abundance of a positive and happy life.
We Can Make a Difference
Henry Ford said that “If you believe you can, or believe you can’t, you’re right.” We can make a difference in the world, as long as we believe we can. To a certain extent we are in control of our destiny. Negative thoughts, words and actions can no longer have power over us. We bless ourselves and those we love with encouraging words. No change will last long-term unless we take action. So we take actions that will propel us towards our former dreams that are now achievable and actionable goals. We engage in loving and supportive dialogue with others realizing that the more loving, encouraging, supportive souls there are in the world, the safer the world will be.
We are now living on purpose one day at a time, one positive step towards our goals at a time. Filled with hope and the sure knowledge that God has a plan for our lives and it involves us embracing the abundance of life. Our lives matter and we are now living our purpose and helping others find theirs. We have discovered that one person can make a difference and that person is you. Once we choose to become unstuck we can let go of the past and grow into the amazing life God has prepared for us. Welcome to your purpose filled and abundant life. 🙂
Marion Sinclair-Simpson © Getting Unstuck…